So Secretly

Source: shutterstock.com
By accident, believe me,
I found your diary.
It opened of itself
in my death-by-knowledge hands.
I looked out the innocent window
but the reflection in the glass
was overpoweringly legible.
I couldn’t shut my eyes
(ophthalmologist’s orders)
and the pages barged into
my poorly defended consciousness.

I never knew that you struggled too
much more than I do
with the placid beige
we’ve painted the showroom walls
of our long-toothed cohabitation. 
I never knew that you
like me were dreaming
of a splashy yellow wedding
expense-be-damned-
all-in-ceremony
that our false, trendy tongues mocked
to each other’s face.

Oh God, I never knew that you,
with all your anarchist tattoos
were so traditional;
that you were waiting for
those hokey Hollywood words
just as long as I have been longing
for the genuflected proposal:
“will you marry me?”
Lord, what kind of couple are we
when so much of our lives
are written so secretly?

Greg Kennedy, SJ works as a spiritual director at the Ignatius Jesuit Centre in Guelph, Ontario. He is author of Reupholstered Psalms volumes I, II, and III; and Amazing Friendships between Animals and Saints (Novalis Press).

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5 Comments
  • John Montague
    Posted at 07:17h, 23 July Reply

    Brilliant

  • John J. Pungente, SJ
    Posted at 08:38h, 23 July Reply

    Sincere apologies to Greg Kenned, SJ. A computer glitch resulted in attributing the poem to me. The author is – indeed – Greg Kennedy, SJ.

  • Peter Bisson
    Posted at 10:31h, 23 July Reply

    Thank you Greg!!

  • Eric Jensen, I'm often a robot
    Posted at 15:28h, 23 July Reply

    And there I was, almost convinced that it was by John Pungente!

  • Jenny Cafiso
    Posted at 08:54h, 24 July Reply

    beautiful. Thank you Greg

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