So Secretly

By accident, believe me,
I found your diary.
It opened of itself
in my death-by-knowledge hands.
I looked out the innocent window
but the reflection in the glass
was overpoweringly legible.
I couldn’t shut my eyes
(ophthalmologist’s orders)
and the pages barged into
my poorly defended consciousness.

I never knew that you struggled too
much more than I do
with the placid beige
we’ve painted the showroom walls
of our long-toothed cohabitation. 
I never knew that you
like me were dreaming
of a splashy yellow wedding
that our false, trendy tongues mocked
to each other’s face.

Oh God, I never knew that you,
with all your anarchist tattoos
were so traditional;
that you were waiting for
those hokey Hollywood words
just as long as I have been longing
for the genuflected proposal:
“will you marry me?”
Lord, what kind of couple are we
when so much of our lives
are written so secretly?

Greg Kennedy, SJ is assigned to the spiritual exercises ministry at the Ignatius Jesuit Centre in Guelph, Ontario. Novalis will publish Greg's book - “Reupholstered Psalms” - on March 1, 2020.

  • John Montague
    Posted at 07:17h, 23 July Reply


  • John J. Pungente, SJ
    Posted at 08:38h, 23 July Reply

    Sincere apologies to Greg Kenned, SJ. A computer glitch resulted in attributing the poem to me. The author is – indeed – Greg Kennedy, SJ.

  • Peter Bisson
    Posted at 10:31h, 23 July Reply

    Thank you Greg!!

  • Eric Jensen, I'm often a robot
    Posted at 15:28h, 23 July Reply

    And there I was, almost convinced that it was by John Pungente!

  • Jenny Cafiso
    Posted at 08:54h, 24 July Reply

    beautiful. Thank you Greg

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