If some of our favourite saints had used Twitter, this is what their tweets might have looked like…

One month ago

@Augustine I was a Manichean *before* it got all mainstream and popular. Bleh, maybe I'll try something new.

@Hildegard grrr… headaches again. And not just administrative ones.

@Nicholas I'm a bishop! I do not go #ho-ho-ho. At least not that often.

@Aquinas Major Drama! Mom doesnt want me 2B friar, has locked me up in tower. Could this month get any worse?

@Bernadette Nobody believes me but am not gonna get all emo about it. Will just stick to my guns and hope it works out

             @Ignatius Am reading some cool stories re #knights, #battles. Exciting! Am def going to become a great soldier. No way this plan will change.

@Patrick Snaaaaakes, it's the snaaakes. Don't worry, I'll get rid of 'em

One week ago

@Gabriel would you people stop freaking out? What is it about the phrase 'be not afraid' that could possible scare you?! Sheesh. I'm just a little glowy #angelproblems

@Aquinas And now mom is sending strange women to my room. Chased her out: nobody messes with my posters of St. Dominic

@Dominic lol 🙂

@Ignatius Pretty bummed. These knightly stories don't stay interesting. Are like pancakes – all exciting at first, but by the end am sick of them!

@AnthonyofPadawa Go climb a tree!

@Augustine Christianity rules! It's almost as good as #platonism. Maybe I can do both…

@Hildegard Visions of fiery rings of pure light around the brilliantly shining Saviour. Took the day off.

@Joan That's right – not only am I wearing pants, I've got armor and a sword. What now, brits?

Yesterday

@Xavier So I'm really into #Japan right now, trying to learn the language n stuff; what an amazing culture

@Aquinas Finally moving out! tots joining Dominicans. Just need a slightly bigger desk. Have you guys read #Aristotle? it's amazing!

@Michael Swordfightz Yo! Lucifer was all like bwa! And I was all like Smitezors!

@Anselm That which is perfect must, by definition, exist. God is perfect, therefore must exist.

@Guanilo A perfect island would exist by definition, does that mean a perfect island must exist somewhere?

@Anselm Your face exists! 😛 Nah, I'm not rly mad. Let me think it over.

@Beckett bleh, don't talk #religion and #politics online, everybody just gets really mad and nobody wins

@Ignatius am reading #Lives of the Saints – not as many battles, but still quite exciting

@Augustine Am ditching platonism, rolling full Christian fno. Evil as privation, not as substance. It all works! Man, I shd write some of this down…

            @Francis I'm really enjoying all these pics of cats online. Sure, radical monastic reform, yeah. But I <3 an1malz="an1malz" p="p">

Today

@Augustine Was abducted by crowd and held until I accepted the job of Bishop. The Christian HR department must have some spr aggressive recruiting quotas.

@Augustine have accepted job, awesome #hat

@Tekakwitha Am over 300 years old – stop calling me “new kid” 🙂

@Ignatius Dig it. Unlike #knights, #saints start exciting and stay exciting. I'm going to do all this stuff the saints did. Will be holiest guy ever!

@Cistercian101 What about moderation?

@Ignatius sure… but only in small amounts X)

@Lawrence Gave my coat to a homeless guy. I'm sure nobody will make a big deal out of this.

@Aquinas man, theology is all over the place. Smbdy should put it all in one big book. Will call it either 'theology 4 dummies' or 'the summa theologica'. Thoughts?

@Raphael Once again: I'm the angel in the book of Tobit, not a ninja turtle.

@Hildegard Health still weak. Have only been able to master botony, biology, musical composition, metaphysics, medicine, theology, plant a garden, and run a convent. Hope this afternoon is more productive.

@Bernadette Discovered stream of water, healings. Looks like sticking to my guns and telling the truth turned out to be an awesome plan. Woohoo!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  Reprinted with permission from Ibo et non Redibo