Recently in the news in the metro area has been talk of a parent who was offended by the cross on her child’s school, St. Matthew’s Elementary. While some have given this concerned parent a hard time, I want to offer my support to her. In fact, to make sure that her concerns get the proper attention I would like to throw my support behind her cause by listing even more things foisted upon us by our religious heritage. We need to get beyond these vestiges of a bygone era in our modern, secular, pluralistic society. Here are the perils in no particular order.

1. Your city’s name and the name of the school
Both the name of the city and the school are the namesakes of saints, disciples of Jesus no less. The pattern is repeated at St. Clare’s Hospital. How dare we name towns and buildings after people who dedicated their entire lives to the betterment of the societies in which they lived? We should begin an immediate campaign to change these names immediately.

2. The school
The idea of the school itself should be offensive to us as well. Are you aware that the very concept of schools, as we know them, was started by religious folks seeking to force their ideas of science, math and knowledge on the poor and ignorant? Its time this madness stops.

3. Holidays
Did you know that the word holidays originated from holy days? This is much too blatantly religious and we only have two options to remedy the situation. One, stop calling them holidays immediately. Two, get rid of all holidays that are not of a strictly secular nature like Labour Day, Groundhog day, and the Regatta (although we can’t call it the Royal St. John’s Regatta because of point #1 and the fact that the queen is the head of the Anglican church, which we find offensive).

4. Art, literature & music
New art , literature and music is fine because it is free from the influence of religion, but the old stuff is offensive because it was influenced and even commissioned by the church. Michelangelo, Handel and Shakespeare were good in their day, but now they are just too offensive.

5. Philosophy
Are you aware of how influential religion, in particular Christianity, is on the way we think and reason? It’s offensive just to think about it. Maybe we should stop thinking all together or come up with new ways to think.

6. Hospitals
See point #2. And I will add, how can we allow these institutions that use the religious ideals of love, compassion and healing to continue? We’ve evolved beyond all that stuff now.

7. Universities
Again see point #2.

8. Language
Religion has way too much influence on our language as seen in words like holiday. The word cross, like the one ominously hanging on St. Matthew’s school, is of particular offense. It has spawned such words as crux, excruciating, and crucify. These and other such religiously oriented words should be struck from our lexicons.

9. Culture
Everyone knows that religion has no place in culture. All religious ideas and values should be driven from our culture. For extra emphasis on this point re-read points 1 to 8.

10. Legal System
Anyone who says that we have no right to be offended or that our justice system is of judeo-christian origins is wrong and we are ready to go to court to fight them.