In May 2014, igNation launched a series exploring the Jesuit identity as it is expressed in works of fiction: "Keyword: Jesuit, Genre: Fiction".  This was followed by the series "Keyword: Jesuit, Genre: Biography".  In these two series we hear what others think about what it means to be a Jesuit – in fiction and in biography.

 This new series – “Keyword: Jesuit, Genre: Autobiography” – will explore what it means to be a Jesuit today – as told in their own words by Canadian Jesuits.  The articles – written for igNation –are as different in expression and format as the men who wrote them. 

                Today's Posting – On Being a Father of Many and of None –  by Paul Robson, SJ

As a Jesuit, I will never be a father. I will not have a wife and children. When I was discerning a possible vocation to the Society of Jesus, 11 years ago, this was the question that I struggled with: should I get married and have a family of my own, or become a Jesuit? Moreover, was not married life a source of great joy, which I should not deprive myself of? After praying with these questions over a period of a few months, I experienced a breakthrough moment, a consoling insight. I realized that married life might indeed be a source of great joy; but that I was being called to religious life – and that such a life, for me, would be a fulfilling and joyful one.

I now approach the possibility, over the next couple of years, of being ordained a deacon and then a priest – should the Society invite me to take these further steps. As I prepare for this eventuality and reflect on what it means to be a priest, an image that I find appealing is that of the priest being a father – a father of many. In an article titled “Un vrai prêtre”, Madeleine Delbrêl has written that a good priest, for her, is one who is a father figure. I am attracted to the idea of being part of a community, such as in a parish. God willing, I might one day be a kind of father figure in such a community: praying with and for the community, caring for and about the people.

It can also be said that, in some ways, a priest living in the midst of a community is not the father of the community. As a Jesuit and a priest I should be pointing people to God, who is ultimately their Father. I might thus be seen as a resource person or connecting point between the people and God. As well, as a Jesuit I may be doing all kinds of ministry, in all kinds of places. I may or may not be a parish priest; and if I am, I may not be in the same place for a long time. Through my discernment and that of the Society, I might move on to another place where I might be of greater service. Thus I would not be a father figure insofar as I am not a stable, long-term presence in a community.

If I do not have a family of my own, and if I am not committed long-term to a particular community, it might seem as though my Jesuit life is somewhat cold and aloof. On the contrary, though, I see the Jesuit vocation as being one in which I am called to love others deeply. It involves journeying as a disciple of Jesus Christ, interacting with all those around me and prayerfully reflecting on these interactions. Through all of this, I am challenged and enabled to love and serve those around me ever more deeply. This love, though, is one that focuses the attention of others on God rather than on myself; and it leaves me free to follow God’s will in new directions and to new places.