Mature adults don’t just decide things, they discern.  That is, if one desires to learn and grow from life’s challenges it is imperative to spend time reflecting on experiences, discerning what is helpful, what is less helpful, and then deciding what action to take.  This is nothing new in the Western tradition of decision making which can be traced back to the philosophical adage of Socrates (4th c. BC):  “The unexamined life is not worth living.” 

Closer to our era, St. Ignatius Loyola (1491-1556), founder of the Jesuits, ‘wrote the book’ on discernment and decision making.  He enshrined his principles in the Spiritual Exercises and Jesuit Constitutions.  Ignatius’ insights are rich and abundant and are often linked to the prayer style of Gospel Contemplation, a kind of ‘active imagination’ that places one in the middle of the Gospel scene to be contemplated as if one were there.  Following the prayer, one takes the time to journal and discern what was happening and from there decide how to continue the prayer movement.  Further, in both the Exercises and the Constitutions, he provides series of formal criteria and steps designed to help a person or group make choices about vocation, life direction and ministry. 

Given my own Ignatian background and work as a spiritual guide who is called upon to help others discern a life calling, I was intrigued and delighted by a recent cover article in the magazine Psychology Today that touts the benefits of daydreaming.  What caught my eye was the thesis that this often denigrated human habit can be a useful tool for discernment and decision making.  Why is it surprising that daydreaming is rarely, if ever, associated with discernment?  Why is daydreaming more often associated with not being focused or not paying attention? 

As I pondered the article in Psychology Today, I recalled a piece written a few years ago by fellow Jesuit Mark Thibodeaux.   Thibodeaux writes: “Good discernment [can] consist of prayerfully pondering the great desires that well up in my daydreams.”  In true Ignatian fashion, and following the tradition of Gospel Contemplation, Thibodeaux encourages one to allow the imagination free reign, in a daydream (or ‘pray-dream’ as he terms it) like fashion, in order to gain clarity for discerning life choices.  Thibodeaux believes that once we start paying attention to our less formal thoughts or daydreams we can apply Ignatian tools to them.  For example, I can be attentive to the feelings around the spontaneous thoughts.  I might ask ‘were they peaceful or disquieting’ or ‘energizing or deflating.’  Indeed, Ignatius suggests that a person who is attentive to the self is also more inclined to be in tune with how God is very subtly guiding him or her. 

And so, while I suppose daydreaming can be tied to lack of focus etc., daydreaming or ‘pray-dreaming’ has been helpful on a number of occasions.   The more I think about it, some of the most important decisions I have made in my life have been linked to something akin to daydreaming.  A few years ago, for example, I was asked to head up a new Jesuit Novitiate for both the English and French Canada.  On the surface, I had many of the requisites gifts and experience but the task was a very daunting one and I was mildly perplexed at having very little time to come to clarity in a decision.  While I was happy to take on the project, I didn’t have a deep sense that it was the right thing.  (God help the poor novice who has a novice director who doesn’t want to be there!)  It was early May and the powers that be were pressing for a response from me, especially since the house needed to be opened in August.  What to do? 

To make a long story short, one afternoon as I was working on something else, I began to get in touch with some of the free thoughts that happened to be rolling around my head. To my surprise, I realized that I was daydreaming about the novitiate; not just daydreaming willy-nilly but daydreaming in concrete ways about how the novitiate could be planned and opened, how the year would be organized and even where the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises would take place.  These spontaneous thoughts, to use the criteria of Ignatian discernment, were both peaceful and energizing as opposed to disquieting and deflating.  In essence my spirit was in the project or, more importantly, I felt that the Spirit was nudging me in the direction of a heartfelt decision.  Needless to say, I was surprised, happy and relieved. 

   Confirming desires surfacing, not in the context of formal prayer but in informal daydreaming.  Since that day, I have less trepidation when facing difficult situations because I know that the most important thing for me to do is to settle down and wait for free thoughts to arise about a particular subject or decision to be reflected upon.  I might even venture to say that formal prayer can follow this kind of free flow and not vice versa.  But, discernment can take place in a multitude of ways, as long as we are willing to listen.  Life, both our interior and exterior life, provides an abundance of experiences and there are no hard fast rules about how we assess and use them.  Still, whether on a formal retreat or simply daydreaming, it is important to take time to reflect and discern in order to grow and to flourish.