I don’t get up at 5:30 am very often.  It takes something special to get me out of bed that early in the morning.  But on the morning of Wednesday, February 27, I was up and out of bed and out the door before 6:10 because something very special indeed was happening that morning.  Pope Benedict XVI was to give his final public audience before retiring from his duties as Supreme Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church.  It was an historic day, and a rare opportunity.  I wasn’t about to miss it.

Three of us made the 30-minute walk to St. Peter’s that early in the morning in order to be in line to get a relatively good seat for the audience.  We were expecting that the square would be full and that the crowd would spill down the Via della Consolazione.  So we wanted to make sure that we got there early.  When we arrived before 7:00, the crowd was already gathering, perhaps a thousand or so. 

There was a palpable nervous energy in the people as they waited for the moment when the gates would open.  We overheard one group of young sisters talking among themselves, “Don’t worry, the tickets we copied should work.”  Oh yes, you were supposed to have a ticket to get into the square.  I didn’t.  Add to that the fact that I had forgotten to leave my Swiss Army knife at home and you’re not supposed to bring such things to the Vatican, my level of nervousness was quite high.

By the time they started letting people into the square around 8:00 the crowd had swelled considerably.  The crush of people surged forward, sometimes even dangerously.  But eventually we made it to the small gate through which everyone was funnelled.  We passed through x-ray machines and metal detectors and “ushers” without any hitch and we were in! So much for security.

We made our way to seats that were being held for us by one of our friends who had managed to get in much earlier, having arrived at a different entrance.  And there we were, in the second rank of seats, three rows from the aisle across which the Pope would be driven in his pope-mobile and close enough to the Basilica that we could see the stage on which he would speak.

The weather was perfect, a completely cloudless blue sky, no wind.  The crowd waited in eager anticipation for the Pope’s arrival.  There were groups from all over the world, waving flags, singing songs from previous World Youth Days and songs they made up on the spot. The whole affair had a festive quality to it.  One of my colleagues referred to it as the world’s biggest papal pep rally!  As 10:30 approached the noise increased, the flag-waving picked up speed, and everyone climbed up on their chair to get a better look.  And suddenly on the big TV screen there was the pope-mobile entering the piazza and the cheering began.  What a moment!  Such energy!  Such excitement!

Finally the time came, after the reading of a passage from Paul’s letter to the Corinthians in ten different languages, for His Holiness to speak.  Pope Benedict’s message was an affectionate, humble, gentle statement of hope.  He looked out that the huge crowd and smiled, extended his arms, and said, “Who can say that the Church is dying?  Look at you!  The Church is alive!”  And of course, the crowd responded with an enormous roar of agreement.

He went on to speak of his great love for the people of God and how he has felt that love returned in so many ways.  He said, “I feel that I am surrounded by brothers and sisters, sons and daughters.  Your love has sustained me in the difficult exercise of the Petrine ministry.”  Perhaps surprisingly, in a somewhat pointed rebuttal to the Polish cardinal who had criticized him obliquely by saying that JP II had not climbed down from his cross, he said, “I have not abandoned the cross!  I am not abandoning the Church!  I will continue to serve, but now in a different way, through prayer.”  And then, in the usual manner established by his predecessors, he proceeded to thank the people of the Church in several different languages before leaving the stage.

This whole event was a strange mix of joy and sadness.  The crowd responded with enthusiasm to almost every statement from the Pope.  Yet, there were tears because he was leaving.  Everyone, it seemed, fully supported him in his decision, fully embraced his choice as an act of generosity, humility, and love.  As Benedict said, “The Church in not mine; it is not ours; it is God’s.  And for the good of the Church, not for my own good, I have made the decision to step aside.”  Seeing him there, elderly, frail, tired, yet relieved and peaceful, who could deny the truth of his statement?

Good-bye, Your Holiness.  May you find peace and rest in your retirement.  And may the Lord bless you with and sustain you with His love.