A few years ago, I was leading a discussion on ethics for the employees of a land acquisition company. At the coffee break, one of the participants came up to me, introduced himself, and said, “I am an atheist.” “Fine,” I replied, “be the most ethical atheist you can be.” I think he was trying to “get off the hook thinking only religious folks have to be ethical. Not so, morality and ethics apply to everyone.
In the matter of ethical-moral behavior, there are three dynamics to especially keep in mind: first, the importance of self-knowledge – what your inner values and principles are and what tempts you away from living them; second, having a moral compass, that is a guide based on your values and principles that helps you to make the right moral decisions; and third, the humility to learn from your moral mistakes and the courage to change your behavior.
As a help to live these three dynamics, consider the following
allegory. It is called “Autobiography in 5 Chapters,” and is by Portia Nelson.
Chapter One:
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…..I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two:
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three:
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in….it is a habit….but my
eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter Four:
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter Five:
I walk down another street.