A few years ago, I was leading a discussion on ethics for the employees of a land acquisition company. At the coffee break, one of the participants came up to me, introduced himself, and said, “I am an atheist.” “Fine,” I replied, “be the most ethical atheist you can be.” I think he was trying to “get off the hook thinking only religious folks have to be ethical. Not so, morality and ethics apply to  everyone.

In the matter of ethical-moral behavior, there are three dynamics to especially keep in mind: first, the importance of self-knowledge – what your inner values and principles are and what tempts you away from living them; second, having a moral compass, that is a guide based on your values and principles that helps you to make the right moral decisions; and third, the humility to learn from your moral mistakes and the courage to change your behavior.

As a help to live these three dynamics, consider the following

allegory. It is called “Autobiography in 5 Chapters,” and is by Portia Nelson.

Chapter One:

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost…..I am hopeless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two:

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in the same place.

But it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three:

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in….it is a habit….but my

eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

Chapter Four:

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter Five:

I walk down another street.