A few weeks ago, I finished my last exam.  Overall the semester has been pretty hectic, and so I didn’t have the opportunity to meet with many friends.  So as soon as things were finished up with school, I decided to go and meet up with as many friends as I could before I shipped off for summer programs.  However, something interesting took place as I booked and overbooked by myself for all these encounters. 

I noticed sometimes things would seem to work, and I would walk out of the meeting refreshed and invigorated.  Other times, I found things just didn’t work – the gathering was boring, and uninteresting, and I left feeling zapped of all my energy.  I wondered to myself, what could have possessed me to meet up with that individual!? 

However, I noticed something even more interesting.  The meetings that I had with all those people, paralleled how I came to meet God in prayer.  That is, when things went well in those encounters, all those things also seemed to go well in prayer. When things went poorly, often times I was doing those same things in my  conversations with God.        

 Let me give a few examples.  I remember meeting up with one friend, and just not settling down. I had been made anxious by all the things I was doing, and all the things that I still had to do.  So as I was speaking with my friend, I found my body, and my thoughts still racing.  I couldn’t concentrate and just be there with my buddy.  Anxiety and worry.  These two deadly emotions were grabbing my minds attention, not allowing me to be with my friend. 

Likewise, I find that anxiety and worry can also seep into my prayer life.  I often come to prayer agitated, concerned about all the things that need to be done.  In fact, I find I can spend the entire time in prayer, not before God, but planning, what I will do after the prayer.  Sometimes I find it helpful to remember with whom I am about to pray with.  After all, if I value the time spent with a friend, how much should I value the time spent with the Lord?  Also, I could just take a few moments to calm down.  Maybe breathing a bit more deeply, slowing bringing myself into a prayerful state.

          I remember another meeting with a friend, and how the conversation wasn’t really going anywhere. It was a bit superficial, and we didn’t seem capable of talking about more important things. We would speak about the Raptors, the weather, and all sorts of things that didn’t really impact our day to day life.

      The same superficiality can sometimes infect my prayer life. Sometimes I come to God, and I don’t really acknowledge what I am going through, how I am really feeling, and what I really need help with.  I treat God as an acquaintance, not allowing myself to be vulnerable with Him.  Perhaps, at some level, it is safer to keep God in the acquaintance zone, and not let Him into the darker challenging areas of my life.

            Finally, I remember another time when I was with a friend and couldn’t get a word in! I remember the friend kept talking and talking, and not taking a moment to come up for a breath. I would try and cut in…but, they would keep going, sometimes ignoring the comments I was making.  

But in a way, I do the same thing as well with God. Often times, we speak at God, often telling Him about our concerns, and dreams, but we don’t let Him respond to us.  I wonder, what it would be like to really unfold my heart to the Lord, and then wait there in the silence, in complete vulnerability, waiting for His response.  There is much courage and grace needed here.  But, whatever the challenge, on the horizon is the opportunity to meet God as we would our best friend.  Confiding in Him, laughing with Him, and enjoying life with Him.