Have you ever borrowed anything from a hotel room?

A nice fluffy bathrobe? A copy of Where Saskatoon? A souvenir hangar from the Hanoi Hilton?

Be honest, now. A recent Hotels.com survey reveals that Canadians are among the most thieving hotel guests in the world, ranking 22nd of 29th on the honesty scale. Kanadian kleptomaniacs are particularly partial to “magazines and books”, while Americans, who are slightly less honest, can’t help stuffing the spare towels and pillowslips into their luggage.

Of course, Scandinavians from Denmark and Norway are the most honest when they on the road and no one is watching, ranking first and third respectively. Is there anything these people don’t do better than us?

I’m not sure what this means but travellers from Quebec are significantly more honest than the rest of Canadians, at least when it comes to leaving stuff in hotel rooms where it belongs. Vive le Québécois honnêtes!

But look, this is not as clear-cut as the survey would make it. Some thefts, such as brand new coffeemakers and mugs, hairdryers, and (for shame) the Bible, are obvious high crimes, while some are misdemeanours.

You have to wonder about “magazines and books”. Am I the only one who was under what now appears to be the mistaken impression that if it has a hard cover it stays in the room, but magazines were meant to go along on excursions, providing portable, up-to-date information about gallery openings and ptomaine-free restaurants?

Then there are the toiletries seductively arrayed on the bathroom counter: shampoo, conditioner, hand cream, body wash, and mouth wash. What’s the etiquette honnête? Maybe Canadians, unlike those healthy, clear-thinking, progressive, (probably lying) Scandinavians, are just confused.

One easy way to deal with this is to imagine how you’d feel if your own house guests routinely walked off with the soap, the soap dish, and the toothpaste, not to mention the art work, clock radio, towels and washcloths and bathrobes, all items regularly pilfered from hotel rooms.

You’d be fâché, for sure.

It’s just good policy to leave the goodies, no matter how irresistible, where you found them. And now it’s for a good cause. Many hotels are participating in a program called Clean the World, which sends leftover toiletries to developing nations.

I can’t believe I just typed that sentence. The Third World may go to bed hungry, but at least it will go to bed smelling good. And you, honest Canadian, you did that.

Anyway: mitts off, and we hope you enjoy your stay.