Lyn died the day after the federal election, having dealt with cancer for five years. She and her husband of over fifty years were our neighbours. Upon retirement as a school principal Lyn registered as a theology student at Emmanuel College. I offered a few suggestions of professors that I found especially interesting during my years studying at the Toronto School of Theology.
A few months ago Lyn asked her husband Greg if he would make her a coffin, since he is a skilled carpenter. At the vigil he told us that Lyn wanted a “green funeral” which meant no embalming, burial in a “green cemetery, and using a coffin with no metal, including nails. When we walked into their living room there was Lyn in the open coffin that Greg proudly showed us. It was a bit of a shock to see her frail body resting peacefully.
I realized later that before funeral homes, this is how most people carried out vigil, in their houses. In many parts of the world, perhaps the majority of poor countries it is still the custom. Magic markers sat on top of the coffin’s cover and Greg invited us to write something.
In red ink I wrote: “You are now with the angels.” Greg seemed to be handling everything well; he had been on this journey for a long time. I, on the other hand had not seen Lyn for over a year. A tear came to my eyes and I repressed breaking down.
Greg suggested we go in the kitchen and have some food brought over by friends. His daughter and niece were there and welcomed us. They explained that to have a “green burial” a certificate must be issued by the municipality. Due to Covid, it takes longer to process.
Cemetery staff told them they would not dig a grave without the certificate from the city. The phone rang, it was city hall. The bureaucrat explained that if they brought a certified check for $55.00 a certificate could be issued. “We can’t take credit cards or cash, and we don’t do e-transfers, we only accept certified checks.” It occurred to me that with all the talk about the “green revolution” and wanting to reduce pollution, government makes it consistently difficult.
Reflecting on the vigil the following day I thought God does not require that our paperwork be in order. When my turn comes I don’t expect I’ll be asked to show my baptismal certificate, or bring a letter for my Pastor, or references from a few loyal friends testifying that despite limitations, please let him in. No, God only requires an open heart that has tried to love tenderly. That describes my united church friend Lyn.
W.H.Auden wrote a famous poem “Stop all the clocks” which I’ve always thought expresses how I feel when someone close to me dies. Stop the world for a minute, death happened. You’re not here anymore. What life you brought to me and those who knew you.
This year 2021 has brought the death of four friends, two jesuits Bob and Terry, my friend Michael, and now Lyn. Their spiritual paperwork was all in order because they lived lives for others. Libera me, Domine