OK, kids. School’s out. The sun is shining. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Yup, it’s time to open a lemonade stand.
Don’t roll your eyes at me, Buster, and listen up. Lemonade stands are a kid rite of passage. Capitalism with training wheels.
It’s easy! The barriers to entry are ridiculously low. All you need is a card table, a hand-painted sign, and of course, a big, frosty jug of product.
Don’t worry about all those bylaws and regulations you are no doubt violating. At this stage of the game, everyone thinks you’re cute because you’re 8. If the cops try to shut you down, you post the bust on Instagram and in no time, you’re viral.
It’s not until you turn into Conrad Black that you have to worry.
You probably won’t be surprised, but the Internet is full of advice for budding lemonade magnates. Ten tips for this, 15 tips for that. It gets so complicated, you might as well go straight to a food truck and skip the MBA altogether.
You really need to keep a couple of key points in mind:
Let’s face it. Being cute is your primary product. It helps to have big eyes and dimples. The cuter you are, the more you can charge for the lemonade. If you’re not cute, find a partner who is. Plus, if there’s more than one of you, you’re covered if you have to go to the bathroom.
And speaking of pricing, lemonade expert Norm Brodsky (there is such a thing) recommends charging $1.25-$1.50 a cup because you’re cute. That’s great, but discount pricing is more effective. Start with 99 cents a cup and escalate by 10 cents for every 2 degree increase in air temperature. Cute is good, but thirsty is better.
Of course, we don’t have pennies anymore, but 99 cents still sounds like a bargain to potential customers and everyone’s ok with rounding it up to a buck.
If things are slow, offer the second glass free. Works at the outlet mall.
My other tip is don’t go all artisan on your first try. Fresh-squeezed local organic lemonade may sound good, but it’s expensive and labour intensive. You want to spend your time counting your profits, not squeezing lemons. You’re looking for a reliable, tasty product, which is available at your friendly neighbourhood supermarket. Pour the carton into a jug filled with ice and eureka: fresh lemonade, not from concentrate.
Don’t worry about the competition. At this point, it’s all about attention span, and you know from experience that the average 8-year-old attention span is about 4 seconds. Just sit there and eventually everyone else will pack it in. Trust me, it works. Even when you’re all grown up.
Finally, do not keep cash on hand. Never forget there are big kids out there who have their own business plan.
And welcome to the real world, sunshine!