Jealousy is one of those emotions which is hard to get a handle on. It is like fire. It can be life-given, and it can do much damage to our personal wellbeing. To be human means that we will struggle with this emotion for the simple reason that it is intrinsic to our nature. Research reveals that even a five month old baby already can express the emotion of jealousy when, especially, mommy pays attention to another baby.
Jealousy has naturally a good evolutionary reason, it can save marriages as one partner might get attracted to another possible partner, and a jealous parent will protect its children from harm. A quick NRSV search reveals that the words jealous or jealousy is used seventy-four times in scripture, even God’s name being Jealous (Ex 34:14); God being jealous in order to protect God’s chosen people.
A good example of this is Joel 2:18. “Then the Lord became jealous for his land, and had pity on his people”, or St. Paul expressing a feeling of “divine jealousy” in 2Cor.11:2 for those who have accepted Christ as their saviour. The majority of the use of the word jealous or jealousy in scripture is however used to indicate the destructive side of jealousy which we could describe with its synonym envy, that is, when this emotion breaks down personal relationships and communities.
We have the wonderful story of Joseph being sold as a slave to the Egyptians, for his brothers were jealous of him as found in Genesis 37. His brother’s jealousy is understandable to some degree for Israel, the family’s patriarch, gave Joseph preferential treatment. At an opportune time Joseph was sold by his brothers to slave traders. As we know, Joseph in time saved his brothers from famine. Through God’s guidance Joseph became an important Egyptian leader, revealing how God always desires to bring good out of less than life-giving decisions.
This brief survey leads me, and maybe the reader, to ask if I’m in touch with my own God-given gift of jealousy. Is jealousy like a stack of dry firewood in me which will burn hot upon an unforeseen spark, or am I in touch with the shadow of this emotion?
Most of our actions and reactions are often not discerned, they just appear from the subconscious as Freud so clearly proposed by his iceberg theory, that is, that we are only conscious of about ten present of all thought processes in our mind, just like we only can see ten percent of an iceberg, for ninety percent is hidden from view under water; in other words, is our subconscious ruling our thoughts and actions, or is the ten percent of our available intellect in charge of our though processes. Sirach 43:14 so poignantly sums up the negative side of jealousy by saying “Jealousy and anger shorten life, and anxiety brings on premature old age.”
This is where the great gift of Saint Ignatius of Loyola becomes a blessing through the gift of the spiritual exercises, and especially the Examen of Consciousness. To stop at least once a day and take stock of our though processes. To ask ourselves about what is happening in our sub-conscious and to name it. To say: right now I feel anxious, or peaceful, envious, or delighted. It will reveal much of what is taking place below the surface in the ninety percent of Freud’s iceberg. To take one’s own emotional temperature a few time a day which will grant us much insight on how the God-given gift of jealousy is shaping our daily interactions with those we live and work with.