My mother has a habit on special days such as Mother's Day, Christmas and Easter. As each of her seven children call and wish her well, she'll say something like, "Great to hear from you! You're still in the will." In other words, you darn well better acknowledge this day. It's unusual for us to take mothers for granted. If asked about our mothers, most of us will basically profess that my mother is the best in the world.
The bond between mother and child is one of the most essential bonds in our lives, probably the most essential. No doubt that is why scripture often uses maternal language to describe the relationship God has with each of us. It's even stronger than the bond we have with our fathers. It exists across time and species. It's stronger than any tragedy that happens to people. Humans experience it, but so do all other mammals. There are all kinds of physiological and psychological explanations about what happens in the womb.
The bond is so strong that we are easily confused and repulsed when we hear about situations where a mother kills or damages her child in any way, physically or emotionally. We often suggest that there is a special place in hell for such mothers. It just goes against everything we assume about the bond. God says, through the Prophet Isaiah, "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast, that she should have no compassion on the child of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you." Unfortunately the answer to the rhetorical question is that it is possible for a mother to forget her child. Thankfully those situations are rare.
I'm always touched and edified when I hear about the relationship between hardened criminals and their mothers. The child has a unique relationship with the mother and it is difficult for the mother to stop caring for her child, regardless of what he or she has done. This is also true of people who surprise us with a major criminal act.
I've been reading Sue Klebold's book, A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy. Sue's child was Dylan Klebold, one of two teenagers who armed themselves with guns and explosives and walked into Columbine High School in April 1999. They killed many before turning the guns on themselves. I'm not going to say much more about the book on this sacred day (though it is painfully and hauntingly beautiful), but it strengthens the conviction that the mother/child bond is powerful. I don't mention this incident to give school shootings more attention, but, rather, to highlight the bond between mother and child.
Sue Klebold and her husband Tom chose not to disown their son. It took amazing love to deplore what he had done but to be unwavering in their love. "Columbine made me feel more connected to mankind than anything else possibly could have." She says, "When it first happened, I used to wish that I had never had children. … But over time, I've come to feel that I am glad I had kids and glad I had the kids I did, because the love for them – even at the price of this pain – has been the single greatest joy of my life." She goes on, "I know it would have been better for the world if Dylan had never been born. But I believe it would not have been better for me." Sue's book is full of wisdom based in devastation.
This is still a year of mercy. I sometimes think that mothers are like God in their mercy. God constantly forgives and welcomes us back. Think of the parable of the prodigal son. Mothers aren't so different. It's not often as extreme as the situation of Sue Klebold. It’s usually just seen in their patience and love with the vicissitudes of life and our human growing pains. Let’s take a moment, or more, this day, to give thanks to God for the vocation of mothers.