There are foodies, those uncompromising gourmets who have “an ardent or refined interest in food and alcoholic beverages”, according to the dictionary.
Then there are the rest of us, who also have an ardent interest in food and alcoholics beverages, but there’s nothing refined about it.
This column is for you, the second catergory. Business Insider has done one of those unscientific reader’s choice surveys and on the strength of 2200 responses has determined the Best Fast Food in America. We can take that to include the rest of North America, because most of these epicurean delights do not require a run to the border.
They may require a run to the bathroom, especially if you insist on testing the winners, but that’s another story.
So, apart from the fact that Tim Horton’s barely makes the list, the rest of it is as commonplace in Canada as potholes in springtime.
What’s really great about this is that everyone can play. In fact, participating is probably as impossible to resist as McDonald’s fries.
The #1 burger is Wendy’s with its characteristic square, never frozen, burger pattie. I don’t know about you, but a square burger pattie ain’t natural. Nonetheless Dave’s Hot ‘N’ Juicy outdistanced the Burger King Whopper and MacDonald’s Big Mac by a healthy margin (34% to 26% and 24% respectively). Or should I say unhealthy?
Best Pizza honours go to Papa John’s, who squeaked by Pizza Hut and Domino’s (34% to 31% and 29%). Little Caesar’s was a distant 4th. Yeah, but does it get there in under half an hour?
No surprise here: McDonald’s had the best fries by a wide margin (57%)., which roughly equals the percentage of North Americans raised on them from infancy.
Best Fried Chicken is KFC at 36%. I haven’t ordered a bucket for 20 years, but that doesn’t stop me from going: “Maybe I should just stop and get a bucket” every time I go past the local Colonel’s dispensary, which is just about every day. This stuff gets into your blood…in more ways than one.
Subway is a double winner, with best sub (37%) and healthiest choice (also 37%), which is hardly a distinction considering the competition. About the only thing you can order at a fast food joint that’s actually good for you is a glass of water.
Finally, there’s coffee, the universal solvent. At 49%, Starbucks wins hands down. The next closest was Dunkin’ Donuts at 27%. This is the only place on the poll where Tim Horton’s appeared, with 8%, just behind McDonald’s. Coffee seems like the last thing you’d order at McDonald’s, but despite (or perhaps because of) those expectations, it’s never as bad as you think.
And that’s pretty much the last word. Or maybe 5 little last words: “You want fries with that?”