I am the Jesuit superior of a large community that includes René Goupil House, our Jesuit infirmary just east of Toronto. This is a home where up to 24 Jesuit priests and brothers receive nursing care, either because they are of advanced age or are infirmed. One of the practices we started here some years ago was keeping vigil with the Jesuits who are in their last days. We sit with them as they prepare for their final journey, preparing to meet God face to face.
What do we do when we keep vigil with them? Well, not a whole lot. Perhaps I can hold a damp cloth to their forehead. Or, I can gently stroke their arms or hold their hands. If I want to be really active I can say the Rosary or pray quietly. But there is not a lot that any of us can actually do. Yes, the nurses can administer medication and do all they can to keep the dying person comfortable and in no pain. But, even they cannot really do very much to control what is happening to the dying.
I grew in that awareness during my Jesuit year of tertianship (the final year of Jesuit formation before final vows). I spent two months helping at Mother Teresa’s home for the dying in Kolkata (Calcutta), India. I watched as many women and men passed away. The Missionary of Charity sisters taught the volunteers so much, through their efforts to make sure that no one died alone or in pain. I realized that the most significant thing we could do is just be there with the dying. One of the sisters would ask the volunteers to accompany them to the streets to find the dying, or to just sit with a dying person. It was very uncomfortable at first. We are naturally keen to do something, to be of help, to keep active.
So, if we cannot do very much, what is our role when we keep vigil? One of the greatest gifts we offer the dying person is the gift of being. I have often been in a situation of being with the dying in the past three years. Other Jesuits in the community, our dedicated staff, volunteers, and family also play this role. Whenever it happens, I find those final days so sacred.
To walk into the room of the dying Jesuit and see people sitting quietly with him – praying the rosary, reading something spiritual, holding his hand – is reminiscent of what I feel when I walk into a chapel with adoration of the Blessed Sacrament taking place. You know immediately that you have walked onto sacred ground and that there is a sense of peace and the nearness of God. No one says anything. We just sit in silence.
That is what is happening in these final days of Holy Week. In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus asks his followers to watch one hour with him as he prays and eventually comes to an acceptance of what is in store for him. He does not ask much, just that he not be alone in this moment of agony. The Gospels tell us about the followers of Jesus – especially his Mother Mary and his closest friends – and how they stayed at the Cross. In neither situation could the friends of Jesus do very much. We know that one friend cut off the ear of the high priest. Jesus asked him to stop using his sword. We hear that those with him at the Cross looked on from a distance, presumably so that they would not be arrested. So, none of their actions changed the situation. No one was able to save Jesus from the Cross.
All Jesus asks of us at this sacred time is to be with him. We are with him in prayer and presence. Today we are with his dying people in prayer and presence.
When Saint Ignatius of Loyola has us contemplate the Passion of Christ, he says “it is proper to ask for sorrow with Christ in sorrow, anguish with Christ in anguish.” I usually suggest to people who are praying with this that the most significant word there is with. I am with Christ in his sufferings. Whenever I am with a dying person, I am once again with Christ.
Pope Francis reminded us in his first homily as Pontiff about the need for us to be rooted in Christ. “We can walk as much as we want, we can build many things, but if we do not confess Christ, nothing will avail. My hope for all of us is that the Holy Spirit, that the prayer of Our Lady, our Mother, might grant us this grace: to walk, to build, to process Jesus Christ Crucified.” Let us take time to be with Jesus on the Cross.