Every three weeks or so, I drive to Abbotsford to visit my spiritual director. I enjoy getting out into the valley for a short visit. The 3-hour return trip is well worth it – at least for my soul.
My director will usually leave me with a theme or scriptural passage to guide my prayer in the ensuing weeks. This last time he suggested that I focus on the theme of thanksgiving in the context of the Lucan story of the ten lepers. Ten lepers are healed by Jesus, but only one, a Samaritan, we are told, returns to Jesus to give thanks. 
During our conversation last week, I realized something quite significant. I had known it for some time, I think, but to actually admit it to someone else took some effort.
I had to admit that I am truly thankful for who I am. An obvious sentiment you may think. Aren't we all called to love ourselves? But, think again. How do you really feel about yourself? We are often plagued by so many internal voices and head talk that do less than build us up. Quite often, it's just the opposite. We so easily compare ourselves to one another, falling into the equally sticky pits of pride or self-deprecation. We lament the past or worry about the future.
I don't always feel on top of the world about myself. Each day has its own rhythm of ups and downs, ins and outs. But, during the conversation with my spiritual director, I knew that, deep within, I really liked who I was – or better still, who I had become.
Now don't get me wrong. It doesn't mean that I have it altogether. Far from it. I still bite my nails. A good friend, God rest her soul, once said that I did not have the hands of a priest. "What was that supposed to mean," I retorted. "What do the hands of a priest look like?" Maybe it was the cuts and bruises that I had sustained during my field research – as well as the poor nails, more or less attacked, that invited my friend's observation. 
My feet are size 7.5 double E. That caused another friend to once query with a twinkle in his eye, "How do you manage to stand up on those tiny feet?" That I can do quite well, thank-you, but I have to admit that finding footwear that fits is always a challenge. One of my legs is a bit longer than the other, my spine has a slight basal curve and I have been blessed with an extra bone in my left foot. I am not immune from sometimes hurting others – inadvertently, I hope. I can be afflicted by the same normal dose of fear, doubt, and restlessness known to most people.
But, in and through it all, I really like the way I've turned out. I enjoy being with myself. This has been through very little effort on my part, I will admit. All has been gift – from parents, teachers, friends and others. Genetics have no doubt played a role as well. Probably most important of all has been the amazing grace of God that has never abandoned me to my own destruction.
I could not have written this 10, 20 or 40 years ago. Maybe I could not have even written it last year. It takes time to fall in love, particularly with oneself. As we admit in the Eucharist, it is right to give God thanks and praise – thanks and praise for everything – and that means everything, even ourselves.