In 2014, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, aka Will and Kate, were noted wandering amiably, if somewhat aimlessly, around Manhattan, leading us all once again to wonder why.

I mean what was the point? To hang out with JayZ and Beyoncé at courtside to watch LeBron James? To make a speech about trafficking in endangered animal parts? To lay yet another wreath at the 9/11 memorial? To see how Kate handled being five months pregnant (with her usual poise and aplomb)?

Trying to dredge any meaning or purpose of yet another British royal visit to America may seem like a tedious exercise in earnestness. They’re a nice enough young couple, which in itself is worth applauding when you consider other members of the family, including the Duke’s own brother, Sir Harry Hijinx, or his dad, the Prince of Embarrassing Things.

So rather than leave Americans with a bad taste in their mouths from the last royal visit – Harry’s assault on Vegas which failed to stay in Vegas – why not send that nice young couple? Everyone smiles and bows and then they go home for more of the same: deferential adoration.

As British Monarchy 2.0, Will and Kate deserve credit for saving the brand. Which is great until we start asking, so what’s the brand again? The bad old days made sense: back when Charles and Diana were poisoning each other’s PR and a Texas financier was sucking the Duchess of York’s toes, the monarchy was collapsing like the corrupt spent force we all assumed it had become.

But now that the artlessly dignified couple has pulled its ashes out of the fire, the monarchy has become a force again. Three-quarters of her Majesty’s subjects believe that it will survive at least until little Prince George is old enough to be king. Not so long ago, when Diana was getting riding lessons from the cavalry, the House of Windsor was under self-inflicted siege.

Too bad this post-modern Restoration takes us back to the safe, stuffy and utterly pointless exercise it had become under Queen E II. As Paul McCartney famously wrote: “Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl but she hasn’t got a lot to say.” Which goes double for Will and Kate, who even smile carefully. Is that what the British people want for their annual royal subsidy of 36 million pounds? Closer to home, is that what Canadians want from our bobble-heads of state?

Poor Will is reduced to sticking up for a few other endangered animals, because he’s constitutionally barred from saying anything about the real issues: home-grown terrorism, unemployment, immigration – you know, the actual news headlines arranged around the celebrity photos of Kate’s latest thrilling frock.

Ironic, isn’t it? The more civil the behaviour, the less relevant the Royal. Maybe it’s time to let Harry and Aunt Sarah out of the bag again and send them somewhere interesting, like Cannes or Rio.

It may be short, but it could be sweet.